I’m an anxious person. I love to dream big and think about things like selling my art work, or singing in public, or publishing my thoughts for the world to judge. But it seems to me that dreams like these are scary. They make my heart race and my stomach twist a little and sometimes that nervous energy becomes this insurmountable weight, holding me down until doubt and fear and common sense have a chance to creep into my brain and convince me not to do the thing.
I’ve gotten pretty good over the years with goals or challenges that simply involve myself. I’m okay with failing privately. But publicly? Well that’s another matter.
Knowing that something will be shared, will be torn apart, will be scrutinized, and hopefully loved, is a powerful thing. It’s your voice, but not the one which you use everyday. It’s the one deep inside your head. The one you only let out on special occasions. Sharing art, or at least an attempt at art, especially as a beginner at anything is, I think, the hardest thing about creation.
Ideas whisper at unoportune moments. I can wrestle thoughts from my mind to physical form. They may even be good. But without pushing them in front of someone I may never know if those ideas are good enough. When the art comes from a deep place, rejection stands to hurt you the most and you can never quite be sure if you’re putting your hopes in front of the right person.
Today I filmed my second Vlogmas video. I’ve wanted to try my hand at Youtube for almost 4 years and I started giving that a go a little more than a month ago. I have no problem admitting that I have no clue what I’m doing. It’s uncomfortable as sweaty shoes in July, but I’m doing it, and while my heart is still racing, hours after filming, it’s getting easier. I’m getting better (at least in my own skin). I am finding my voice. I’m fighting the urge to let fear win.
So far, I’m pretty happy and while I’m definitely an amateur, each effort is a step in the right direction.
What are you afraid to try? Is failing scary enough to stop you? Imagine where you could be tomorrow.
Let me know down in the comments below the things you want to try most, and whether you’re brave enough to give them a chance. In the words of the greatest poet tweeting today, I’m not throwing away my shot.