Let me preface this post with the words: This is a really bad idea.

Great. That bit’s over.

Many writers and readers know that it is currently National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo at the moment, and I’ve decided that this year, I’ll be sharing all my outlining and writing, daily online. I’ve elaborated more in this video I just made, but basically I want to challenge myself this year and take on some of my fears as a writer and a human. I sincerely doubt this exercise will be beneficial or entertaining for anyone aside from me, but it’s a thing I’ve been thinking about for a couple of months now, and I’ve just decided, what the hell. Why not face that fear by punching it with a shitty draft.

My logic eludes even me most days, so if the above doesn’t make sense, don’t feel bad.

I’m well aware that if you intend to publish writing/keep it from being stolen, you shouldn’t let it live messily on the internet, but to be clear, this over sharing exercise is a challenge in accountability and a crash course in courage.

Even if no one watches my videos, reads my blog, or likes my work (at all, or in it’s craptastic state), this idea stemmed from my own fears and I’m only competing with myself.

Art isn’t made in a bubble or a vacuum or whatever some important person said. I’m an anxious, emotional wreck on the daily and any excuse to push my limits can’t be a bad thing. I already know that I can write 50,000 words (the NaNoWriMo goal) in a month. And I know that I can edit a project for years and that it will never feel good enough. I need to break out of this fear laden mentality of never being good enough, or I’ll be stuck in this vicious self destructive cycle forever.

So *deep breath* I’ll be posting all my developmental ideas and my raw words for honest consumption. For better or worse. I need to grow as a person and an artist and so this is a thing I’m doing that I may regret later. But at the very least I’ll set a benchmark so low that I can only improve from here.

Oh and this ridiculous challenge should probably have an equally ridiculous name, so if you’ve got any suggestions that don’t include naive-idiot, I’d love to hear them.

Best wishes, ❤ Ellie.